My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
