i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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