One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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