I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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