Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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