Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
