He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
