i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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