I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
