Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
