he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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