This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They took my balls.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
