She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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