Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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