I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
