Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
