You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
