On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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