um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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