Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
