Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
