I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
