im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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