How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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