found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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