I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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