Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
