I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
