you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
