she was so not down for the gang bang
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
is it fun? or sober?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
