If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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