it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How naked do you want me to be?
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