Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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