WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
