I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
