My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
