I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
