it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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