we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
