He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My vagina is officially offended.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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