were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
