so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
