How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
