i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
sex in a hospital.. check
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
