He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize