WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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