I just cut my nipple shaving
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She bit a glass in half.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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