Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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