also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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