Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize