I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
