we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
