you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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