Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
