Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My vagina is very pro this idea
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
