She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
