Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
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