omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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