Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She announced her abortion via fbk
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize