I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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