consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
