Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
