Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
