do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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