I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
